STRASSEN — Proving again that Luxembourg is no longer the bastion of safety and order it once was, a man attacked two strangers on Sunday by attempting to talk to them in a supermarket elevator. “It’s busy today, huh?” said the attacker to two other shoppers as the elevator slowly descended. The female shopper nervously […]
Miracle: friend believed to be lost to Covid now wants to drink beer on a terrace
A friend everyone believed had tragically succumbed to Covid now wants to meet for a beer on a terrace, according to reports. The last anyone in the group of friends had heard from Phil Sullivan, a 34-year-old project manager who lives in Clausen, was last autumn just as bars and restaurants were ordered to close. […]
VDL mayor considering opening the fully functional, 26-station metro that was built in 90s
LUXEMBOURG CITY — Admitting that traffic has not improved much despite the tram, Mayor Lydie Polfer says it might be time to start using the 26-station underground rail network that was built under the city in the late 1990s. “It’s been there for ages,” she said to an aide on Monday while the two were […]
Man from big city unimpressed by local muggings
Saying he doesn’t understand why people make such a big deal about the muggings that now seem to occur every week, a man who moved to Luxembourg from a big city says you should see how it is where he’s from. “Back home, we’ve got proper street crime,” he said with a look of pride […]
Alert after Luxembourger infiltrates expat group
A red alert was issued on Wednesday after it was revealed that a Luxembourger had infiltrated a popular expats Facebook group. The infiltration was discovered after one of the group’s 8000-plus members asked for a cheese suggestion, to which a member named Estephania Makris responded, “Kachkéis.” When another member wrote that he’d tried kachkéis and […]
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