DUBAI — Planners behind the Luxembourg pavilion at the Dubai 2020 World Expo have decided to leave the site “under perpetual construction” to give visitors a more accurate vision of life in the Grand Duchy. “We originally planned to complete a beautiful, modern three-story edifice in the shape of a Möbius strip, with a light […]
6 Luxembourgish place names that sound like sex acts*
Péiteng If you and your partner engage in this, make sure to bring a raincoat and an umbrella. Dikrech While this might sound like kinky fun, it usually results in an emergency visit to the urologist. Suessem Usually requires at least one participant to make noises suggestive of a vacuum cleaner. Rëmeleng Highly inadvisable, especially […]
Moien, um, please restructure your administration to meet my linguistic needs
Moien, bonjour, and guten whatever. Do you speak English? Great, that’s a relief. Um, could you please restructure your administration to meet my linguistic needs? I know, I realize that would require tens of thousands of civil servants to sort of, um, yeah, take one or 10 English courses, a difficult proficiency exam, maybe spend […]
Home burglary fastest growing jobs sector
The Grand Duchy’s office for unofficial statistics, UNSTATEC, has released new figures showing that home burglary is now the biggest jobs sector, beating out more established ones like sausage farming and orchid sitting. To local burglars, the report comes as no surprise. “Luxembourg is full of homes, nice unguarded homes,” said one burglar who last […]
Applicants for Luxembourgish nationality must now swear they have slightly warm feelings for country
Amid worries that many of the applicants rushing to get Luxembourgish nationality are not doing so out of love, or even mild affection, for the country, but rather for personal and political reasons, officials will now require applicants to state that Luxembourg is “quite okay.” “We are not asking you to say that you love […]
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