Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

8-year-old suspected of stealing millions of Cactus ‘Mega Öko Gang’ cards

A spokesman for Cactus supermarket has confirmed reports of a Sunday night burglary in which millions of promotional animal-themed cards were stolen from an underground vault near Mersh. Rene Faber says the company has identified a suspect, an eight-year-old from Junglinster who hours before the heist was overheard saying he’d “do anything” to get the […]

Luxembourg invests €50 million to mine black hole

Proving that the country is keeping its eyes on the stars, Luxembourg has announced it has invested 50 million euros in a company that plans on mining a recently photographed black hole. “Some critics say we’re just throwing money into a giant hole, but that’s the point,” said Hubert Sternmann, spokesperson for the government’s Office […]

Local fish demand ‘anatomically correct’ Melusina

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Complaining that the mythical half-fish, half-woman Melusina is always represented as mostly woman, a group of local fish are demanding an end to depictions of her that aren’t “anatomically correct.” On Tuesday afternoon, at least 20 fish gathered on the banks of the Alzette in the Grund near a statue of Melusina where […]