The Luxembourg Wurst has been in existence since 2017, and all that time we haven’t known for sure if we’re actually allowed to make pointed jokes about the institution of the monarchy. Why? Because no one tells us a damn thing, that’s why. When you get into the business of publishing online news satire, there’s […]
Young people rush outside during 5-minute break in rain to perform weird mating dance
Frustrated by rain and overcast skies and feeling their natural urges taking over, thousands of young adults rushed outside on Wednesday to attempt a ritual mating dance during a few minutes of sunshine. The rush occurred between 9:41 and 9:45 while many of the young people were in class or at work. Surprise and anger […]
State conducts survey to see if residents like surveys
Following years of collecting statistics about how much money residents spend on food condiments per month and if they are satisfied with the way their neighbors take care of their gardens, the state has conducted a survey to see if residents like its surveys. “We wanted to get more insight into how residents feel about […]
Wiltz resident unconvinced that Wiltz is in the north
A woman from the northern town of Wiltz has denied that Wiltz is in the north. “Wiltz is actually quite central, and some might even say that we are on the edge of the Minett, the southern lands,” she said. “I once found a red rock in my garden. We can drive down to Mersch […]
Excellent choice, sir: why suspect photos in Luxembourg are aged like a fine whisky before release
In a network of tunnels below Luxembourg City is the cave where suspect photos are stored and aged like fine whisky until they are ready to be released to the public, explain law enforcement officials. Officer Marco Trausch, who oversees the aging process, took the Wurst on a tour, explaining that when a photo of […]
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