As part of the commitment to support local production and reproduction, the Chamber of Commerce has announced that any child made in Luxembourg will now be eligible for a Made in Luxembourg tattoo. The tattoo, made from non-toxic black ink, will only be given to babies whose parents can provide substantial evidence that the child […]
‘When’s weed going to be legal?’ man demands, for a friend
A resident who finds it curious that the government promised years ago to legalize cannabis has demanded to know when they’re going to deliver. “Not for me, it’s for a friend who is eagerly waiting,” he said. “Not that I’m opposed to cannabis, of course, and people say it’s safer than alcohol, less detrimental to […]
Luxembourg to create ‘own international celebrity’
Luxembourg officials have announced they’re ready to take the next step in becoming an important global actor: create the country’s first international celebrity. “Develop our commercial space industry, check,” said Carlos Hombart of the Initiative for International Recognition. “Become the first country in the world to offer nation-wide, free public transport, check.” “Create the first […]
Luxembourg variant ‘would not be aggressive, would keep to self’
Researchers at the University of Wiltz have claimed the existence of a Luxembourg variant of the SARS-CoV-2 virus is “ probable” but that no one would ever know about it and it would not have spread far. “If a Luxembourg variant existed, it would not be aggressive and it would mostly keep to itself,” says […]
Luxembourg ‘paid world’s mapmakers to exaggerate size’
In what’s being called Dwarfgate, investigators have uncovered a conspiracy to make Luxembourg appear bigger on maps. The goal of the plot, say investigators, was to increase Luxembourg’s international standing and provide the additional benefit of making neighboring countries paranoid. “This was a clear attempt by a country ranked 167 in terms of its geographical […]
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