Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Woman going to center for huge street party looks for clothes that will match spilled drinks, ashes, sweat from strangers

A Luxembourg City woman who is going to the all-night party in the center in celebration of National Day on June 23 has spent nearly two hours looking for the right outfit to match all the random substances that will end up on her before the night’s end, she says.  “Red from the Negroni I’ll […]

Tragedy on Bretzelsonndeg: she gave her boyfriend a bretzel instead of the other way around, and he turned into an egg

Officials in Luxembourg have reminded the public about the importance of respecting traditions after a woman gave her boyfriend a sweet bretzel, causing him to turn into an egg.  The incident occurred on Sunday, Bretzelsonndeg (Pretzel Sunday), just moments after Astrid Knoop surprised her partner Matthias Buchler with the almond-encrusted pastry.  “He said, ‘oh, a […]

Duchy to allow yearly ‘Luxem-Purge’

Saying the only way to release the pent-up stress in the country is by creating a national holiday during which all crimes and antisocial behavior are permitted, Luxembourg officials have announced a yearly “purge.” Called Luxem-Purge in honor of the movie franchise that popularized the concept of an annual night of lawlessness, the event will […]

Company holds meeting to choose best dull ‘Happy Year Year’ image for social media

Members of a communications department have held a meeting to decide which totally uninspired Happy New Year image they will share on the company social media accounts.  “It’s been a tough year, for our shareholders, customers, and the other people who for some weird reason follow us on social media,” said communications manager Isadora Hendrez. […]