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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Tragedy on Bretzelsonndeg: she gave her boyfriend a bretzel instead of the other way around, and he turned into an egg

Pretzel Sunday egg tragedy

Officials in Luxembourg have reminded the public about the importance of respecting traditions after a woman gave her boyfriend a sweet bretzel, causing him to turn into an egg.  The incident occurred on Sunday, Bretzelsonndeg (Pretzel Sunday), just moments after Astrid Knoop surprised her partner Matthias Buchler with the almond-encrusted pastry.  “He said, ‘oh, a […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Holidays

Duchy to allow yearly ‘Luxem-Purge’

Luxem Purge

Saying the only way to release the pent-up stress in the country is by creating a national holiday during which all crimes and antisocial behavior are permitted, Luxembourg officials have announced a yearly “purge.” Called Luxem-Purge in honor of the movie franchise that popularized the concept of an annual night of lawlessness, the event will […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Holidays

Company holds meeting to choose best dull ‘Happy Year Year’ image for social media

Happy New Year image company

Members of a communications department have held a meeting to decide which totally uninspired Happy New Year image they will share on the company social media accounts.  “It’s been a tough year, for our shareholders, customers, and the other people who for some weird reason follow us on social media,” said communications manager Isadora Hendrez. […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Holidays, RTL Today

How to save money by telling your kids Santa failed CovidCheck 

Santa Luxembourg Covid

While it feels good to give your children expensive gifts that will become obsolete and boring in exactly 11 days, consider giving your finances a little break. Here’s how to get away with spending no money on Christmas presents for your kids while avoiding all blame. A few hours before gifts normally miraculously appear, express […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Holidays, RTL Today

Covid has sadly ruined our ability to find joy in simple overconsumption 

Overconsumption, Christmas, Covid

Once upon a time, Christmas meant something. It was about being bombarded with advertisements for the “newest, coolest” stuff you neither needed nor wanted. It was about rushing out to buy that stuff and not having to worry that other shoppers might infect you. It was about giving in to immense seasonal pressure to blow […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Holidays

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