An anglophone who for years claimed he had mastered the local languages has been forced to admit that he can only really speak English after what one witness described as a “disastrous” telephone conversation with a hospital receptionist. On Tuesday, teacher Alan Rooney, 47, attempted to make a medical appointment over the phone while several […]
American defeats French resident in Luxembourg Monolingual Championships
An American has been named Luxembourg’s top monolingual after narrowly beating a French resident who had held the title for three years. Project engineer Robin Slater, from the U.S. state of Iowa, defeated Ludovic Binard, originally from Dijon, in a brutal final match during which they incomprehensibly spoke at each other for three hours. Although […]
Frustrated Luxembourg teen doesn’t know which of 5 languages to vandalize in
KAYL — What started off as a mission to spray paint a simple anti-capitalist message on an old building turned into a frustrating ordeal for one teen when he couldn’t figure out which of his five languages to use. Yannick Pereira, 17, had hoped to spray paint the words “I shop therefore I am” to […]
New support group for people who get nationality but still can’t speak Luxembourgish
In an upscale cafe on the Grand Rue in Luxembourg’s capital, Helen Porter and six other adults stand in a circle and hold hands. “We are Luxembourgish, we deserve to be Luxembourgish, but we cannot speak Luxembourgish,” they say in unison. “And that’s okay.” Porter is leading a weekly meeting for people who obtained the […]
Expat receives cryptic manuscript in mail
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A woman who is relatively new to the Grand Duchy has found herself “totally perplexed” by a cryptic booklet she mysteriously received in the mail last month. Michelle Hedeman, an Amazon employee who was transferred to Luxembourg in March, says that immediately upon inspecting the 122-page manuscript, she knew it contained secrets. “Page after […]
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