As part of an effort to expedite the process of reassimilation, holidaymakers returning to the country via Luxembourg Airport are being greeted with a bucket of cold water in the face.  The cold water is part of a new temporary program dubbed “Letz Be Real” which employs around a dozen staff members who target returning […]

A man known to defend the weather in Luxembourg whenever anyone complains about it only does so because he is actually a snail, it has been revealed.  For years, Ben Ouze has refused to join in when others lament the rain, even when it goes on for weeks – much to the annoyance of those […]

While many humans have been deterred from visiting Luxembourg this summer due to the incessant rain, the number of visits by gastropod tourists has skyrocketed, say delighted officials.  In total, more than 54 million snails and slugs have visited Luxembourg in just the last two weeks alone, which represents an increase of nearly 3000 percent […]

A Luxembourg woman in search of a summer holiday resort for her family has taken up the task with the intellectual vigor of a professor of ancient languages carefully examining newly discovered texts that might illuminate fundamental truths about human nature.  The 39-year-old mother casually offered to take over the job of choosing a hotel […]