Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Youth sports tournament gives parents right to start drinking at 10 a.m.

Dozens of mostly Luxembourgish parents have yet again demonstrated respect for a long-standing tradition of drinking in the morning hours of a children’s sports tournament.  Last Sunday’s basketball tournament was “as good a reason as any other for some early drinking,” said Marc Groben, cracking open his first beer at 9:49 a.m, immediately following the […]

It’s scarf time, bitches! 

Gentlemen, for too many months our necks have been naked. For too long we have walked these cruel streets without our most beloved piece of fabric measuring 90 centimeters by 90 centimeters. We have been lonely, ill-at-ease, and vulnerable to the harsh elements of this world. In May, they told us we had to give […]

This expat said Luxembourg has no good beer so his neighbors threw him in a pool of local craft beer and yes it’s delicious but he would kindly like to get out now because it’s been 4 hours and the point has been made

A 59-year-old expat has been forced to take back his remark that Luxembourg has no good beer –  in the most enjoyable way possible.  Junglinster resident Thomas Malloy, 59, who moved to Luxembourg three years ago, offhandedly said to several people at the annual neighborhood party that while he likes living in the country, “it […]

Luxembourg just happy to make international news

Luxembourg has announced that although the circumstances aren’t ideal, it is pleased to have made the international news in recent days following allegations that a local award-winning painter plagiarized the work of a well-known photographer.  “Accusations of artistic theft are never fun,” Luxembourg said in response to the international outcry. “Maybe our boy went too […]