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Knock A Shining Dog

Tram converted into submarine 

July 20, 2021

Luxembourg tram submarine

Following heavy rains that left many parts of Luxembourg under water, VDL officials have confirmed that the tram can also function as a submarine.  “Some people laughed when we went over budget because we insisted on doors that can keep water out as deep as 10 meters below the water,” said VDL spokesperson Mo Biliteit. […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Transportation

New, larger parking spots for bastards in expensive cars who always take 2 spaces anyway

July 16, 2021

Parking expensive cars Luxembourg

Following years of trying to compel bastards in expensive cars to park correctly and in a considerate manner, VDL officials have announced they’re giving up, saying that the only solution is to give these people their own, larger spaces.  “In every public parking garage or supermarket parking lot, clear white lines have been painted to […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Luxembourg City, Transportation

‘We’ll improve cycling infrastructure when you stop wearing those shorts,’ VDL tells cyclists

June 8, 2021

In response to complaints from cyclists that Luxembourg City does little to make getting around on a bicycle easy, officials have promised to build the world’s best cycling infrastructure – if cyclists agree to stop wearing those ridiculous shorts.  “You’ll get dedicated bikeways all around the city, protected lanes on every street, and a safety […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle, Transportation

VDL mayor considering opening the fully functional, 26-station metro that was built in 90s

April 19, 2021

Luxembourg metro, underground subway

LUXEMBOURG CITY — Admitting that traffic has not improved much despite the tram, Mayor Lydie Polfer says it might be time to start using the 26-station underground rail network that was built under the city in the late 1990s.  “It’s been there for ages,” she said to an aide on Monday while the two were […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Luxembourg City, Transportation

Luxembourg City parking agents undergo commando training

April 2, 2021

Luxembourg special forces - parking

In response to a growing number of drivers in Luxembourg City who illegally park their cars and say to themselves, “it’s only for a minute,” all municipal parking agents will now undergo special forces training.  The intensive program lasts 42 weeks and consists mainly of evasion tactics, urban survival, and guerilla ticketing operations. The goal […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Luxembourg City, Transportation

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