An affluent woman from Mamer is being lauded this week for having discovered a formerly unknown group of humans in Luxembourg which she has named “a body-using, hand-working underclass.” “I woke up early and observed some men stealing my bins,” says Val Haark, a stay-at-home mother who in her spare time blogs about designer children’s […]
Grand Ducky of Luxembourg discovered
Calling it “a discovery that fundamentally transforms our understanding of how toy animals form adorable little monarchies,” biologists have uncovered the existence of a Grand Ducky. The bright yellow ducky was first spotted in the Alzette River in Luxembourg City by a group of teenagers who were out for a night in Clausen. Unwilling to […]
Babies conceived in Luxembourg may now get Made in Luxembourg tattoo
As part of the commitment to support local production and reproduction, the Chamber of Commerce has announced that any child made in Luxembourg will now be eligible for a Made in Luxembourg tattoo. The tattoo, made from non-toxic black ink, will only be given to babies whose parents can provide substantial evidence that the child […]
Tram converted into submarine
Following heavy rains that left many parts of Luxembourg under water, VDL officials have confirmed that the tram can also function as a submarine. “Some people laughed when we went over budget because we insisted on doors that can keep water out as deep as 10 meters below the water,” said VDL spokesperson Mo Biliteit. […]
New, larger parking spots for bastards in expensive cars who always take 2 spaces anyway
Following years of trying to compel bastards in expensive cars to park correctly and in a considerate manner, VDL officials have announced they’re giving up, saying that the only solution is to give these people their own, larger spaces. “In every public parking garage or supermarket parking lot, clear white lines have been painted to […]
Bystanders stop crazed man from serving crémant in a paper cup
Police are praising the heroic actions of two Luxembourg City women who stopped a reckless, ill-informed, and presumably unhinged man who was on the verge of serving crémant in paper cups. The scene unfolded in Merl Park around 5:30 p.m. on Wednesday when friends Eva Hansen and Anne-Sophie Thibault heard the sound of a bottle […]
Developer wonders if he can build home in crack of other home
A Luxembourg developer who was inspecting a property his company recently bought has confirmed he’s found a creative way to deal with a large crack in an exterior wall. The crack, which is three meters long and 12 centimetres thick at certain points, was the main reason why the previous owner was in such a […]
The 7 types of expats in Luxembourg
Casper You meet this new arrival and you click with each other. “Let’s hang out sometime,” you both say. By the time you get around to inviting them for a drink, they’re already gone. But weren’t they supposed to stay for an 18-month work assignment? Oh, they did and already went back home. Oops. Chronicler […]