Dozens of people on a bus headed to Kirchberg on Friday were confronted with a disturbing sight when a passenger who didn’t have a smartphone was left with no choice but to swipe at the air. The young woman, who according to sources works as an administrative assistant and had accidentally left her cherished iPhone […]
Archives for December 2017
Everyone getting Luxembourgish nationality except you
A new report from the Ministry of Expat Affairs has confirmed that everyone in Luxembourg who is not already Luxembourgish will be by the middle of next year — with the notable exception of you. “Becoming Luxembourgish is, like, super quick and fun, and seriously man, everyone is doing it,” said Minister Paul Baresi. “Honestly, […]
Luxair opens routes to Strassen, Hamilius
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Commuters who are fed up with traffic congestion in the capital will soon be able to fly their way to work. A spokesperson for Luxair says that the airline is opening five domestic routes to and from Luxembourg Airport in Findel. The new routes will connect the airport with Esch-sur-Alzette, Grevenmacher, Mersch, Strassen […]
Anglophone unable to pronounce ‘vin chaud’
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — An expat’s valiant effort to order seasonal mulled wine ended in catastrophic failure on Sunday after vendors at Luxembourg’s Christmas market couldn’t understand what he was saying. During several tense minutes, the 39-year-old anglophone tried to express that he wanted “vin chaud,” trying variations that included van chowed, vine show, and even voucher. […]