A new retro-chic bar paying homage to the early 2020s is scheduled to open in Luxembourg City, and to give it a genuine feel, the owners have decided to require all customers to insert a long swab into their noses before they may take a seat. “It wasn’t too long ago that 80s stuff was […]
Number of greeting kisses raised from 3 to 33
In an effort to reinforce a key Luxembourgish social custom, the government has announced that effective immediately, the official number of greeting kisses will be raised to 33. For decades, the number of typical greeting kisses stood at three. However, this was reduced to zero in early 2020 as kisses were replaced by first-bumps, monk-like […]
He went for a handshake, she went for a first bump, this happened, now she’s pregnant and he’s divorced
Two colleagues have found their lives turned upside down after a clumsy introduction led to the woman getting pregnant and the man getting divorced from his wife of seven years. Michel Douby, 36, had just arrived at work one morning when he was introduced to Salome Funk, 22, who was starting her first day of […]
Luxembourg parliament accidentally votes in favor of vaccine ‘man dates’
Luxembourg’s parliament on Tuesday voted nearly unanimously in favor of vaccine “man dates,” a typo that is now law and unfortunately cannot be undone. “I don’t know what man dates are exactly, but I’ve seen enough Hollywood comedies to make a guess,” said one deputy from the CSV. “It’s when a couple of dudes go […]
Positive test results no longer merit sympathy, man learns
A Luxembourg man who recently tested positive for Covid-19 has been forced to come to terms with the fact that such a revelation is now of little consequence to others and will earn him no sympathy. “Just got some really bad news from the lab,” the single 32-year-old posted on his various social media accounts […]
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