Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Man survives 46-second walk from air-conditioned car to air-conditioned office

CLOCHE D’OR — A man being called “the Bear Grylls of Luxembourg’s dedicated car-driving community” has survived a harrowing 46 seconds outside in extreme heat while he trekked from his car to his office. On Wednesday, Jacques Becker, a 36-year-old senior lawyer from Wormeldange, was thrust into the life-or-death situation after discovering that someone had […]

‘The temperature will reach 40,’ insists desperate man with nothing else to live for

A Bertrange man who for days has been spreading a message of meteorological doom is still insisting that temperatures this week will reach 40 degrees, despite weather forecasts that now say otherwise. Last Wednesday, Jonas Gottfried was the first among his peers to discover news of this week’s heat wave. His formerly meaningless life was […]

Report: probably snowing in Wiltz

As proof that the town is located in the far, far north, there is a “very high probability” that Wiltz is being blanketed with snow, according to a local meteorologist.  “I haven’t received quantitative data confirming my suspicions, but I would bet 750 old Luxembourgish francs that while here in the capital we deal with […]

Hungover Luxembourg speculator wakes up and realizes he drunkenly bought housing units for everyone in bar

A property speculator from Luxembourg City woke up with a feeling of immense regret on Saturday upon realizing that, during the night of heavy drinking, he bought a round of expensive housing units for total strangers. Trying to piece together the night, Pascal Baptista, 35, remembered that after emptying several bottles of wine while dining […]