LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Saying that she was applying the full force of justice, on Tuesday a Luxembourg judge sentenced a local troublemaker to spend an entire day of shopping at Auchan in Kirchberg just before Christmas. “This sentence may seem cruel, but it only matches the wickedness of your misdeeds,” said the presiding judge. The defendant […]
French driver accidentally uses turn signal
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A driver from the nearby French city of Metz was lauded on Thursday for repeatedly using his turning signal while navigating Luxembourg’s streets. “How totally absurd,” said Sylvie Weydert, who first observed the driver of the red Nissan with French license plates indicate he was making a right turn onto Boulevard de la […]
Fearless band of expats venture into working-class neighborhood bar
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Amid battle cries and hastily composed text messages bidding goodbye to loved ones, a group of brave expats ventured into a neighborhood working-class bar. The expats, who normally only go to trendy pubs where servers speak flawless English accented with just the right amount of irony and automatically slide you an imported IPA […]
Heartbreaking: passenger who forgot smartphone swipes at air
Dozens of people on a bus headed to Kirchberg on Friday were confronted with a disturbing sight when a passenger who didn’t have a smartphone was left with no choice but to swipe at the air. The young woman, who according to sources works as an administrative assistant and had accidentally left her cherished iPhone […]
Everyone getting Luxembourgish nationality except you
A new report from the Ministry of Expat Affairs has confirmed that everyone in Luxembourg who is not already Luxembourgish will be by the middle of next year — with the notable exception of you. “Becoming Luxembourgish is, like, super quick and fun, and seriously man, everyone is doing it,” said Minister Paul Baresi. “Honestly, […]
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