A new report from the Ministry of Expat Affairs has confirmed that everyone in Luxembourg who is not already Luxembourgish will be by the middle of next year — with the notable exception of you. “Becoming Luxembourgish is, like, super quick and fun, and seriously man, everyone is doing it,” said Minister Paul Baresi. “Honestly, […]
Luxair opens routes to Strassen, Hamilius
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Commuters who are fed up with traffic congestion in the capital will soon be able to fly their way to work. A spokesperson for Luxair says that the airline is opening five domestic routes to and from Luxembourg Airport in Findel. The new routes will connect the airport with Esch-sur-Alzette, Grevenmacher, Mersch, Strassen […]
Anglophone unable to pronounce ‘vin chaud’
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — An expat’s valiant effort to order seasonal mulled wine ended in catastrophic failure on Sunday after vendors at Luxembourg’s Christmas market couldn’t understand what he was saying. During several tense minutes, the 39-year-old anglophone tried to express that he wanted “vin chaud,” trying variations that included van chowed, vine show, and even voucher. […]
Sad: nobody will visit couple in Thionville
An expat couple who moved from Luxembourg to Thionville in search of cheaper housing have been unable to persuade anyone to visit them, according to friends who are regularly badgered to make the arduous journey. “Thionville is quite close, literally 30 kilometers away,” Phil Kulik told friends during a night out in Clausen last weekend. […]
Luxembourg newsagent clearly has crush on Grand Duke
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Denying all claims that he has a crush on the reigning monarch, a newsagent in the city center nevertheless has shown an unusual fondness for displaying in his shop portraits of Grand Duke Henri. “I only put them there for my customers, many of whom are Luxembourgish and like that sort of respectful […]
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