LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Archaeologists working in the capital have uncovered artefacts that suggest many of the city’s most aggravating road construction projects currently underway have been going on since the end of the Neolithic Era. Among the artefacts found in a dig near the Bierger-Center — just one of a dozen sites currently being excavated — […]
‘I love the diversity of Luxembourg,’ says expat who only socializes with own socio-ethno-linguistic group
A woman who only socializes with people who strongly resemble her in looks, language, and income has announced that she loves the diversity of Luxembourg. “There are so many nationalities represented here, it’s a veritable cornucopia of cultures,” she said. “And you can really enjoy them from a safe distance, like, through the tinted windows […]
Scary new drug craze: Luxembourg mothers addicted to Cactus candles
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — By day her name was Marie-Antoinette Hoffmann, a part-time language teacher and dedicated mother of three. But by night, she was known as “Mam Bougie” and police say she ran a candle-dealing operation that stretched from Clervaux all the way to Differdange. For readers who are unaware of the dangerous new trend, […]
Junior accountant on hoverboard actually alpha male from future
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A seemingly unremarkable junior accountant is actually an alpha male from the future who travelled back to 2017 to save humanity, as evidenced by his choice of a high-tech personal transportation device. “I was selected out of a group of 1000 elite soldiers to be sent back in time to examine the internal […]
Entire office required to fake sympathy for colleague only pretending to be sick
BERTRANGE — Two dozen employees of a Luxembourg IT firm have gone through the humiliating process of being obliged to fake sympathy for a colleague who returned to work after nearly a month of pretending to be unwell. The offending colleague, who according to sources looked as if he’d “just come back from a month […]