Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Marathon to deploy hundreds of clowns to chase runners to finish line 

Saying they wanted to find a new way to encourage participants in this year’s Luxembourg marathon, organizers have announced the deployment of hundreds of clowns who will immediately begin to chase anyone who slows down. “Keeping up momentum for a long-distance race can be difficult, even for experienced runners who have spent months training,” said […]

Spanish woman’s entire CV just hyphenated family name

Dozens of HR departments and recruitment agencies in Luxembourg have confirmed receiving a CV that is composed entirely of the candidate’s hyphenated family name. The CV, which by one count contains 324 individual surnames, appears to come from a Spanish candidate, although some have pointed out that she might also come from Latin America. “She’s […]

Luxembourg Wurst sued by German sausage industry for €50 billion

The Luxembourg Wurst is being sued by the German sausage (“Wurst”) industry to the tune of €50 billion on the grounds that it has damaged the reputation of the German Wurst across Europe and the world.  “The German Wurst is special, protected by UNESCO, the source of pride for 72 million normal Germans who aren’t […]

Average ‘moien’ to last 9 seconds by 2050

Citing figures provided by STATEC, experts have predicted that the average duration of Luxembourg’s traditional greeting “moien” will grow to an astounding nine seconds by the year 2050.  “You don’t need a degree in linguistics, high-tech recording equipment, or an understanding of mathematical modeling to know what’s going on,” said Alan Recher, a researcher in […]