A landlady who conducted a moving-out inspection on Tuesday and reluctantly conceded that the apartment was in excellent shape now wonders if she could keep the deposit because the tenant cleaned too well. “I was hoping there would be a few scuff marks in the hallway so I could say we’d need to repaint the […]
New ‘homing vel’OHs’ return to station on their own
Following a huge increase in the number of vel’OHs that are abandoned in parks, streets, and the river that cuts through the part of Clausen where all the bars are, the bicycles will be retrofitted with a device so they can find their way home alone. JCDecaux, which operates the self-service system, says the new […]
Polyamory only solution to housing crisis, ministry admits
Following predictions that housing prices will continue to rise despite a slowdown in the market, the government has admitted that the only solution to the crisis is a widespread and enthusiastic move toward polyamorous households. “Look, it’s not like we can force 85-year-old grannies to sell the 2.5 hectares that have been in their families […]
Roadworks just ‘a large-scale psychology experiment’
The people behind the thousands of roadworks projects currently underway around the Grand Duchy have admitted that the projects are all part of a nation-wide psychology experiment. The aim, say transportation officials who have been working with researchers from the University of Wiltz, is to better understand how drivers react to unexpected delays, long detours, […]
Six modern-day Luxembourg medical problems
During the past several months, Luxembourg health professionals have seen a spike in the frequency of these previously obscure medical problems. Petrol neck A form of whiplash caused by repeatedly bobbing your head as you watch gas prices go up and down. And up and down. And up. Treatment: take public transport twice a day […]
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