Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

‘Dry January’ rightly abandoned after 6 days

Realizing that wine, beer, and spirits provide a vital cushion of emotional comfort during a dismal period, Luxembourg has decided to abandon “Dry January,” the quixotic plan to give up alcohol for the whole month. “We kept it up for 120 hours, and we feel that we have made our point,” said Luxembourg spokesperson Viviane […]

New sci-fi movie about world in which you can shop without wearing a mask and go to McDonald’s without disclosing what’s in your blood 

A locally produced science-fiction movie that depicts a “vividly imagined but dangerous and obviously unrealistic world” has been released.  “One Day” follows a young Luxembourg man named Rob who takes a Friday off from work and spends the morning shopping with his girlfriend, visiting a library, and taking a bus around the capital – all […]

Freelancer spends entire day trying to show, scan own CovidCheck

A Luxembourg freelancer who works from home has lost eight hours of productivity trying to scan his own digital CovidCheck certificate, it has been revealed.  “I downloaded the CovidCheck application as well as a digital certificate showing I’ve been vaccinated twice and that I’ve received a booster shot,” said Geronimo Torres. “Before allowing myself to […]

Company holds meeting to choose best dull ‘Happy Year Year’ image for social media

Members of a communications department have held a meeting to decide which totally uninspired Happy New Year image they will share on the company social media accounts.  “It’s been a tough year, for our shareholders, customers, and the other people who for some weird reason follow us on social media,” said communications manager Isadora Hendrez. […]