Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Schneider building clone army to serve on thousands of more boards 

Saying that one Etienne Schneider is not enough to fully capitalize on a political career, Etienne Schneider has confirmed he’s building a clone army of himself. “Every clone will be just like the original, with the same insider knowledge of government and industry,” said a spokesperson for Kamino, the Moscow-based company that’s overseeing production. “Like […]

Report: Luxembourg doesn’t care who wins as long as it’s not Germany, France, Belgium, Portugal, Italy

When asked which team it supports in the Euro 2020 championship, Luxembourg has said it doesn’t really care who wins as long as it’s not France, Germany, Belgium, Portugal, or Italy. “Technically, we’re supposed to support Germany because we share the family name Schmidt as well as a profound love of grilled sausages,” said Luxembourg. […]

Nobody came to his birthday party, so a bunch of firemen showed up and told him to stop acting like an asshole all the time

When a seven-year-old boy in Capellen invited his classmates to his birthday party but none showed up, a group of helpful firemen stepped in to explain to the boy that he’s a little asshole and that’s why no one came. Massimo Bucci had been looking forward to last weekend’s party for weeks, says his mother […]

How to afford a home in Luxembourg: 5 simple strategies

The Wurst’s in-house financial advisor Rupert Goldbumm says that while many people earning an average or below-average salary in Luxembourg fear they’ll never be able to afford a home, if you act prudently and follow some simple strategies, you too can become a homeowner.  Scratch your way in Winning the top prize of a lottery […]