Admitting that the paper face masks sent to all residents of the Grand Duchy might not last long, Prime Minister Xavier Bettel announced that he’s going to donate 200,001 scarves from his personal collection for residents to cover their mouths and noses. “Oosh voosh oon moosh loosh,” he said at a press conference on Wednesday, […]
Desperate residents sneaking out to meet in public, ignore each other
Desperate to return to the era when they could be socially distant among other people, hundreds of Luxembourg City residents are breaking the lockdown order to congregate in public spaces and totally ignore each other. The most popular meeting spots are large open areas such as forests and fields where dozens of people gather and, […]
6 signs you may be losing your mind
These are difficult times. Many of us feel like we’re losing our minds. But are we really? Here are six signs. Considering eating kachkéis Yes, there it is, sitting in the back of your fridge like some kind of assassin who’s been in hiding this whole time. You bought it as a joke, for a […]
News of the virus reaches northern Luxembourg
Inhabitants of Luxembourg’s northern lands have finally received news of the coronavirus, according to tribal elders who rule the remote region. “Several moons ago, we sensed a great panic followed by a calm emanating from the southern lands,” explained Claude Sassal, 67, who leads the Sassel tribe. “As well as a reduction in the number […]
‘Stop claiming you’re teaching,’ say actual teachers
Parents in Luxembourg who complain-brag about having to become full-time teachers are being reminded that putting your child in front of a tablet for three hours every morning doesn’t count as teaching, nor does it count as doing something full-time. “Having your kid binge-watch educational videos doesn’t mean you’re a teacher now,” say teachers. “It […]
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