A European supercomputer scheduled to be installed in Luxembourg in 2020 has issued a sharp rebuke to the plan, saying you don’t need to be capable of performing quadrillions of calculations per second to figure out that it’s too expensive here. “I’m totally confused, because these people tell me I’m going to Luxembourg to help […]
7 minerals other than Luxembourgite that were discovered here
The discovery of a mineral dubbed Luxembourgite near an old mine some time back received a lot of news coverage, but it’s not the only mineral the Grand Duchy can claim as its own. Here are seven others: Rentalium Depositate This mineral is found in recently vacated rentals. It’s formed when repeated pressure, such as […]
8-year-old suspected of stealing millions of Cactus ‘Mega Öko Gang’ cards
A spokesman for Cactus supermarket has confirmed reports of a Sunday night burglary in which millions of promotional animal-themed cards were stolen from an underground vault near Mersh. Rene Faber says the company has identified a suspect, an eight-year-old from Junglinster who hours before the heist was overheard saying he’d “do anything” to get the […]
Grand Duke Jean, 1921 – 2019
Luxembourg invests €50 million to mine black hole
Proving that the country is keeping its eyes on the stars, Luxembourg has announced it has invested 50 million euros in a company that plans on mining a recently photographed black hole. “Some critics say we’re just throwing money into a giant hole, but that’s the point,” said Hubert Sternmann, spokesperson for the government’s Office […]
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