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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

‘Get in our way and we’ll breathe in your face,’ Luxembourg joggers remind public

April 8, 2020

Luxembourg jogger coronavirus

Luxembourg joggers have issued a reminder that if they approach you on the sidewalk and you don’t get out of their way, they’re going to breathe in your face, but only for a moment, and in any case you shouldn’t be alarmed.  “I’m a fitness addict who hasn’t had a cold in six years, so […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Health, Leisure and Lifestyle

‘Beautiful day to spread coronavirus,’ says everyone outside today

April 5, 2020

Coronavirus Luxembourg park weather sun

Thousands of people in Luxembourg looked out the window this morning, saw the clear skies, and decided it was ideal weather to go outside and spread the coronavirus a little. “It would be a shame to spend the beautiful day inside, keeping our germs to ourselves,” said father Alarvo Encants, a resident of Luxembourg City. […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Health, Leisure and Lifestyle

US to give 26 billion hours of attention to starving celebrities

April 2, 2020

Celebrities starving for attention coronavirus

WASHINGTON — Calling the damage to the social hierarchy caused the the coronavirus lockdown a “crisis we can no longer ignore,” the U.S. agency in charge of disaster relief has announced it will be allocating 26 billion hours of emergency attention to starving American celebrities. “These people, members of our most fragile and neediest population, […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, International, Leisure and Lifestyle

Toilet paper roll sells for €577,000

March 29, 2020

Toilet paper roll at auction sells for €577,000

A roll of toilet paper, which is being called “the last of its kind,” has been sold in London for more than half of a million euros.  The sale was made at Christie’s auction house on Wednesday, where the bidding started at fifty cents and quickly shot up.  It’s not clear if the anonymous buyer […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Europe, Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle

Luxembourg man finishes the internet

March 25, 2020

BISSEN — A man who has self-quarantined since the middle of the month has finished the internet, according to multiple sources.  “Every article, blog post, video, social media update, and meme,” said Nicolas Quinn, 29, after switching off his tablet after a marathon 22-hour session. “I’m done. I’ve consumed them all.” “There’s nothing you can […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle

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The Idiot of St. Benedict – Order Now!

The Idiot of St. Benedict – Order Now!
Prices in Luxembourg City

New shop in center offers usual stuff but at ‘twice the price’ 

Cashier watching you enter PIN

Cashier turns away, attaches blindfold, puts bag over head while you enter PIN

Man thanks LinkedIn

No, please don’t: man thanks people who invite him to connect on LinkedIn

Drug dealer Luxembourgish

Well, it’s a start: Gare dealer offers drugs in Luxembourgish

St. Valentine beheaded

Ghost of beheaded St. Valentine wishes couple a romantic evening

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