Saying that Luxembourg must do more to limit the number of glamorous handbags and accessories that end up at the bottoms of drawers and in the backs of wardrobes, Valorlux has announced the release of a new “gold” line of recycling sacks for luxury goods. Collected items will be taken to a processing facility to […]
Mosquito shocked how much alcohol still in man’s blood full week after national day
A local mosquito has expressed shock and disgust after spending the night in a 34-year-old man’s bedroom and discovering that his blood was still full of alcohol – an entire week after Luxembourg’s national day. “I get it, every year on the eve of the 23rd of June, people in this country celebrate and do […]
Report: Luxembourg doesn’t care who wins as long as it’s not Germany, France, Belgium, Portugal, Italy
When asked which team it supports in the Euro 2020 championship, Luxembourg has said it doesn’t really care who wins as long as it’s not France, Germany, Belgium, Portugal, or Italy. “Technically, we’re supposed to support Germany because we share the family name Schmidt as well as a profound love of grilled sausages,” said Luxembourg. […]
Mother wondering if it’s reasonable to already be going to gangbangs again
A Luxembourg mother who attended a gangbang with her husband on Wednesday night has expressed concern by what she says is a reckless return to group sex gatherings. “Looking at all these maskless people with their naked bodies and sweaty limbs intertwined in all sorts of positions, I wonder if we’re all jumping back into […]
‘Revenge is sweet,’’ say Euro 2020 sponsors
Following a snub in which high-profile Euro 2020 players moved strategically placed sponsored products during a press conference, the aggrieved companies have announced they are plotting revenge. “Cute stunt Ronaldo, but we’ve got you and your little sports league right by the contract,” said Coca-Cola spokesperson Jacqueline Brand. “If you don’t want to face serious […]
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