Organizers of the Great Britain stand at this year’s International Bazaar have confirmed that due to conflicting opinions about where the stand should be located, it will be both inside and outside the Luxexpo facilities. Several months ago, six out of the 10 stand volunteers voted to move it outside the Luxexpo facilities near the […]
Lazy shopkeeper only now putting out Christmas stuff
A woman who runs a gift shop in the centre of Luxembourg City has admitted to “extreme laziness” and “insensitivity to customers who love holiday-themed junk” as the reason why she’s only now putting out her annual Christmas display. Sources indicate that the shopkeeper only started lighting Christmas-scented candles in the beginning of November, and […]
‘Close all 12 streets that remain open,’ orders VDL official with maniacal laughter
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — At a press conference on Wednesday to address the traffic crisis, the official who oversees transportation and roadworks in the city suddenly grew annoyed with criticism and, in a moment of madness, ordered the remaining 12 open streets to be closed. The official, going by the alias “Minister X,” at first attempted to […]
‘Insanity, heart attacks, possibly death’ the price for tram, official affirms
Responding to criticism that the worsening traffic in Luxembourg City is tearing the social fabric, a top official is reminding the public that inconvenience is the price to pay for the construction of a light rail network. “Look, you wanted a tram, so that means digging holes and laying tracks,” said Lettie Folper, the city’s […]
Gang of Luxembourg City teens rush into cafe, order food, sit quietly
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Panic gripped the staff of a cafe in the city center on Monday when a group of at least 15 young men rushed into the cafe and surrounded the barista. “They were all dressed like gang members in tight designer jeans, expensive hoodies, and clean, new sports shoes,” said the barista. “I feared […]
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