LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Commuters heading into the capital city on Monday were filled with rage after seeing a woman dressed in bright colors, according to several choleric witnesses. At least six train passengers glared at the woman and wished “serious bodily harm” upon her. A further 10 passengers crossed their fingers in hopes that someone would […]
North Korea bars visitors from own stand at Bazar International
For the 27th year in a row, delegates from the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea are not allowing visitors to enter or exit their stand at this weekend’s Bazar International in Luxembourg. “We thank the capitalist exploiters of Luxembourg for again inviting the glorious DPRK to participate in this celebration-feast to honor the Western vices […]
Archeologists: current Luxembourg roadworks actually started 6000 years ago
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Archaeologists working in the capital have uncovered artefacts that suggest many of the city’s most aggravating road construction projects currently underway have been going on since the end of the Neolithic Era. Among the artefacts found in a dig near the Bierger-Center — just one of a dozen sites currently being excavated — […]
Scary new drug craze: Luxembourg mothers addicted to Cactus candles
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — By day her name was Marie-Antoinette Hoffmann, a part-time language teacher and dedicated mother of three. But by night, she was known as “Mam Bougie” and police say she ran a candle-dealing operation that stretched from Clervaux all the way to Differdange. For readers who are unaware of the dangerous new trend, […]
Junior accountant on hoverboard actually alpha male from future
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A seemingly unremarkable junior accountant is actually an alpha male from the future who travelled back to 2017 to save humanity, as evidenced by his choice of a high-tech personal transportation device. “I was selected out of a group of 1000 elite soldiers to be sent back in time to examine the internal […]
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