Why the police in Luxembourg provide few details about violent crimes It is often the case that when a violent crime occurs in Luxembourg, the police release little information, leaving you curious, fearful, and possibly titillated. Many residents want to know the official reasons for this withholding of details. We asked around, and here’s what […]
Musk demands duchy give up X and become ‘Luembourg’
Tech giant Elon Musk has demanded that Luxembourg give up the x in its name, saying that the letter is a registered trademark and belongs to him and his social media platform. “Are your X are belong to us,” he said in a post, informally known as a xeet, formerly known as a tweet. The […]
Caritas Luxembourg unveils new €60-million yacht named ‘Charity’
Finally answering the question “where the hell did all those sixty-plus millions of euros of embezzled money go?” a source for the now mostly defunct Caritas Luxembourg has presented the organization’s latest acquisition: a luxury yacht lovingly named Charity. “You may wonder why we’d need a luxury yacht that’s docked safely away from EU […]
State conducts survey to see if residents like surveys
Following years of collecting statistics about how much money residents spend on food condiments per month and if they are satisfied with the way their neighbors take care of their gardens, the state has conducted a survey to see if residents like its surveys. “We wanted to get more insight into how residents feel about […]
‘I’m available for selfies,’ Frieden reminds public
In a recent press conference to address the topic, Prime Minister Luc Frieden has reminded the public that he is available, willing, and happy to take selfies with members of the public. “Just like my predecessor, I’m fun, spontaneous, and I know how to smile,” he said. “Like him, I’m very capable of walking around […]
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