CLOCHE D’OR — A recently hired junior at a Luxembourg company has repeatedly violated the sacred code of shared workplace toilets, causing widespread discomfort and anger, according to sources. The code, which has been on the books since at least 1957, was created to ensure that workers enjoy the maximum sense of anonymity in shared […]
Archives for July 2018
Gëlle Fra melts
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — With temperatures across the Grand Duchy soaring to unprecedented highs, Luxembourg’s most iconic figure has melted, according to observers. Gëlle Fra, who usually stands proudly over Place de la Constitution, was observed slouching yesterday morning, and by the afternoon her face had drooped so much that she was scarcely recognizable. Many residents say […]
Place d’Armes orchestra ‘amazing,’ say toddlers dancing in front of stage
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A municipal orchestra that played in Place d’Armes last weekend was “amazing,” according to a group of toddlers whose parents allowed them to dance in front of the stage. “This is the best show I’ve seen since Maman took me to see [French children’s singer] Chantal [Goya],” said two-year-old Luc Barraud, who for […]
Juncker video confirms rumors that Earth is spinning wildly out of control
For years, conspiracy theorists have claimed that our planet’s rotational speed has been rapidly increasing, and yet while most people scoffed at the idea, new evidence suggests the conspiracy theorists might be right. On Wednesday, video footage was released of former Luxembourgish politician and current European Commission president Jean-Claude Juncker at a meeting with world […]
Interview with a deaf boy in the center who asks passersby to sign his petition
One cool afternoon, the Wurst had the chance to chat with one of the deaf boys who hangs out in the center and asks you to sign his petition. Tell us a little about yourself. Well, I could give you my name, but it would be fake anyway. So how about you just call me […]