In addition to guided visits of the casemates, ramparts, and other sad ruins, Luxembourg City will now offer guided tours of what were once known as “restaurants.” “Much like today’s McDonald’s drive-thrus and bakeries where you enter one at a time and get out as quickly as possible, these restaurants also served food,” explained VDL […]
Cannibals demand gatherings be limited to 1.5 people
The organization that represents cannibals in the Grand Duchy is speaking out against the government, claiming that it’s “dangerous and irresponsible” to continue allowing gatherings of two or three people. “As we all learned in science class, all you need for virus transmission to occur are two individuals,” said Luxembourg Union of Cannibals president Jean […]
Luxembourg described as ‘fun’ for first time
Surprising even its staunchest defenders, for the first time Luxembourg is being described as the most exciting travel destination in Europe. “People keep asking about this Luxembourg place they’re hearing about,” said London-based tour guide Polly Letusin. “Overnight, the country has turned fun.” Among the Grand Duchy’s offerings, says Letusin, are activities you can’t do […]
NASA unable to find signs of life in Luxembourg
After spending nearly four weeks exploring the surface of Luxembourg City and its surroundings, a rover sent by the U.S. space agency NASA has failed to find signs of life here. “We had good reason to believe that there would be life in Luxembourg,” said project head Roberta Desoleet. “Through telescopes we’ve observed the existence […]
Breaking: someone sneezed
Fear and confusion broke out across Luxembourg on Wednesday morning after someone sneezed, according to multiple reports. The violent expulsion was first felt by Jonathan Freeland, who was relaxing at a coffee shop on Avenue de la Liberté in the capital. A preliminary investigation failed to determine which of the 15 or so people in […]
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