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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Bar owner also surprised anyone willing to pay 20 euros for a cocktail

July 22, 2021

Luxembourg price of a cocktail

The owner of a trendy bar in Luxembourg City has responded to an unprecedented complaint about the price of cocktails with, “Yeah, it’s ridiculous, isn’t it?” Damien Bouze says that when he opened his bar three years ago, he had planned on charging fifteen euros for a cocktail, which he thought was already a lot.  […]

Filed Under: Dining and Nightlife, Featured Article

Chatty banker cannot wait to talk over musicians once venues fully reopen 

May 26, 2021

Chatty concert goer

Luxembourg’s live music scene has been hit hard by the pandemic and fans are chomping at the bit to get back into sweaty halls once more, perhaps none more than Chad Whispersnout. For Whispersnout, the music is a secondary concern, however. Indeed, for the brash American expat, concerts are merely a place where he can […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Dining and Nightlife, Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle

Report: Luxembourg must have got shagged over the weekend

April 26, 2021

Luxembourg shagged

A country that had been in a sour mood since November must have been massively shagged over the weekend, sources have claimed. According to colleagues, Luxembourg showed up to work on Monday morning grinning, smelling of passion, and humming the song “Walking on Sunshine.” “Hey, moien, et geet!” Luxembourg said when it threw the office […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Dining and Nightlife, Featured Article

New tour takes visitors around ruins of restaurants

February 17, 2021

Luxembourg tour of ruined restaurants

In addition to guided visits of the casemates, ramparts, and other sad ruins, Luxembourg City will now offer guided tours of what were once known as “restaurants.” “Much like today’s McDonald’s drive-thrus and bakeries where you enter one at a time and get out as quickly as possible, these restaurants also served food,” explained VDL […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Dining and Nightlife, Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle

Cannibals demand gatherings be limited to 1.5 people

December 22, 2020

Cannibals in Luxembourg

The organization that represents cannibals in the Grand Duchy is speaking out against the government, claiming that it’s “dangerous and irresponsible” to continue allowing gatherings of two or three people. “As we all learned in science class, all you need for virus transmission to occur are two individuals,” said Luxembourg Union of Cannibals president Jean […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Dining and Nightlife, Featured Article, Politics and Government

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The Idiot of St. Benedict – Order Now!

The Idiot of St. Benedict – Order Now!
Prices in Luxembourg City

New shop in center offers usual stuff but at ‘twice the price’ 

Cashier watching you enter PIN

Cashier turns away, attaches blindfold, puts bag over head while you enter PIN

Man thanks LinkedIn

No, please don’t: man thanks people who invite him to connect on LinkedIn

Drug dealer Luxembourgish

Well, it’s a start: Gare dealer offers drugs in Luxembourgish

St. Valentine beheaded

Ghost of beheaded St. Valentine wishes couple a romantic evening

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