LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A mystery that baffled private school students for an entire morning has been solved thanks to the hard work of two teenage detectives. When Brianna Dorian, 14, showed up at school on Tuesday wearing a Marc Jacobs silk midi dress, classmates had plenty of questions. How could she afford such a dress? And […]
Exhausted parents demand immediate end to summer holidays
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Chanting “eight weeks of summer holidays is seven weeks too long,” hundreds of local parents took to the streets on Wednesday to demand that schools immediately reopen and “take back these sticky-faced parasites before we all go insane.” Bettembourg father Dag Linwood, 39, says he’s gone through a whole summer’s worth of activities […]
Former champion hand spinner ends life in rubbish
LORENTZWEILER — A hand spinner that in the summer of 2017 was celebrated by an entire Luxembourg primary school has now ended up in a heap of rubbish, unrecognized and uncherished. The metallic item, which measures 7.5 centimeters in diameter, won every contest it was entered into, earning it the title of “the best in […]
Child returns from school with nasty caterpillar stuck to hand
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A six-year-old from the capital returned home from school on Friday with a germ-infested caterpillar named Mila stuck to his hand. The plush, multicolored creature — which plays a prominent role in primary school textbooks — was described by the boy’s parents as stinking of “slime, kid sweat, and the icky contents of […]
Luxembourg teen’s smartphone fuses into hand
GASPERICH — A teenager described by his parents as “always on his phone” will now be stuck to it for the rest of his life. Lycée student Geoffrey de Kelpt, 17, says that he woke up one morning last week and realized that his phone had melded with his left hand. He is unable to […]