LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Chanting “eight weeks of summer holidays is seven weeks too long,” hundreds of local parents took to the streets on Wednesday to demand that schools immediately reopen and “take back these sticky-faced parasites before we all go insane.” Bettembourg father Dag Linwood, 39, says he’s gone through a whole summer’s worth of activities […]
Former champion hand spinner ends life in rubbish
LORENTZWEILER — A hand spinner that in the summer of 2017 was celebrated by an entire Luxembourg primary school has now ended up in a heap of rubbish, unrecognized and uncherished. The metallic item, which measures 7.5 centimeters in diameter, won every contest it was entered into, earning it the title of “the best in […]
Child returns from school with nasty caterpillar stuck to hand
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A six-year-old from the capital returned home from school on Friday with a germ-infested caterpillar named Mila stuck to his hand. The plush, multicolored creature — which plays a prominent role in primary school textbooks — was described by the boy’s parents as stinking of “slime, kid sweat, and the icky contents of […]
Luxembourg teen’s smartphone fuses into hand
GASPERICH — A teenager described by his parents as “always on his phone” will now be stuck to it for the rest of his life. Lycée student Geoffrey de Kelpt, 17, says that he woke up one morning last week and realized that his phone had melded with his left hand. He is unable to […]
Mission to destroy parents during holidays ‘accomplished,’ say Luxembourg kids
A summer-long effort by children in the Grand Duchy to demolish their parents’ mental and emotional well-being was a success, according to the movement’s leader, seven-year-old Claire Kieffer. “Two months ago, many of you believed we couldn’t defeat our parents, that with their physical strength, years of experience, and superior intellects, we would be forced […]