LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A six-year-old from the capital returned home from school on Friday with a germ-infested caterpillar named Mila stuck to his hand. The plush, multicolored creature — which plays a prominent role in primary school textbooks — was described by the boy’s parents as stinking of “slime, kid sweat, and the icky contents of […]
Luxembourg teen’s smartphone fuses into hand
GASPERICH — A teenager described by his parents as “always on his phone” will now be stuck to it for the rest of his life. Lycée student Geoffrey de Kelpt, 17, says that he woke up one morning last week and realized that his phone had melded with his left hand. He is unable to […]
Mission to destroy parents during holidays ‘accomplished,’ say Luxembourg kids
A summer-long effort by children in the Grand Duchy to demolish their parents’ mental and emotional well-being was a success, according to the movement’s leader, seven-year-old Claire Kieffer. “Two months ago, many of you believed we couldn’t defeat our parents, that with their physical strength, years of experience, and superior intellects, we would be forced […]
Opposing views: back to school
Life is great! Have you ever woken up, looked outside and noticed that your car was stolen, your neighbor’s dog is pissing in your garden, and that the sky is grey, but still said to yourself: life is great! I know, I know. It’s the end of the summer and we’re supposed to be feeling […]
Luxembourg teachers would like to know how many wurst parents want for next year’s Schoulfest
Saying that these things need to be planned far in advance, teachers all around the Grand Duchy have begun distributing sausage order slips for next summer’s annual Schoulfest. “Please tell us if you want a Mettwurst, a Grillwurst, or a cutlet,” wrote Sylvie Baum, a cycle 2 teacher from Mamer, in a letter to parents […]