When a seven-year-old boy in Capellen invited his classmates to his birthday party but none showed up, a group of helpful firemen stepped in to explain to the boy that he’s a little asshole and that’s why no one came. Massimo Bucci had been looking forward to last weekend’s party for weeks, says his mother […]
How to afford a home in Luxembourg: 5 simple strategies
The Wurst’s in-house financial advisor Rupert Goldbumm says that while many people earning an average or below-average salary in Luxembourg fear they’ll never be able to afford a home, if you act prudently and follow some simple strategies, you too can become a homeowner. Scratch your way in Winning the top prize of a lottery […]
Mosquito, caterpillar, mite agree to divide up last unbitten, unstung patch of skin
In what’s being called the Berlin Conference but for bugs, arachnids, and other critters, three superpowers in the world of skin irritation have forged a historic agreement on how to fairly divide a recently discovered clear patch of human epidermis. The clear patch of skin, a rare find during a period of mass skin irritation […]
Mother wondering if it’s reasonable to already be going to gangbangs again
A Luxembourg mother who attended a gangbang with her husband on Wednesday night has expressed concern by what she says is a reckless return to group sex gatherings. “Looking at all these maskless people with their naked bodies and sweaty limbs intertwined in all sorts of positions, I wonder if we’re all jumping back into […]
‘Revenge is sweet,’’ say Euro 2020 sponsors
Following a snub in which high-profile Euro 2020 players moved strategically placed sponsored products during a press conference, the aggrieved companies have announced they are plotting revenge. “Cute stunt Ronaldo, but we’ve got you and your little sports league right by the contract,” said Coca-Cola spokesperson Jacqueline Brand. “If you don’t want to face serious […]
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