In what’s being called the Berlin Conference but for bugs, arachnids, and other critters, three superpowers in the world of skin irritation have forged a historic agreement on how to fairly divide a recently discovered clear patch of human epidermis. The clear patch of skin, a rare find during a period of mass skin irritation […]
Mother wondering if it’s reasonable to already be going to gangbangs again
A Luxembourg mother who attended a gangbang with her husband on Wednesday night has expressed concern by what she says is a reckless return to group sex gatherings. “Looking at all these maskless people with their naked bodies and sweaty limbs intertwined in all sorts of positions, I wonder if we’re all jumping back into […]
‘Revenge is sweet,’’ say Euro 2020 sponsors
Following a snub in which high-profile Euro 2020 players moved strategically placed sponsored products during a press conference, the aggrieved companies have announced they are plotting revenge. “Cute stunt Ronaldo, but we’ve got you and your little sports league right by the contract,” said Coca-Cola spokesperson Jacqueline Brand. “If you don’t want to face serious […]
Expat angrily recounts to expat group mildly annoying thing that happened to her
An expat who suffered from mild frustration at a Luxembourg City store has angrily recounted her experience to her online expat support group. The non-incident occurred on Monday at an appliance store when an employee claimed that a particular washing machine was no longer in stock even though a model was still on display. When […]
Bettel to wear anti-slap scarf
Following an incident in which a member of the public slapped the French president, Luxembourg’s prime minister will now wear a defensive anti-slap scarf. “This baby might look like an everyday neck adornment, but trust me, it’s fitted with the latest in anti-slapping technology,” said defensive scarf salesman Gus Burlee. “Prime Minister Xavier Bettel will […]
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