LUXEMBOURG CITY — Admitting that traffic has not improved much despite the tram, Mayor Lydie Polfer says it might be time to start using the 26-station underground rail network that was built under the city in the late 1990s. “It’s been there for ages,” she said to an aide on Monday while the two were […]
Man from big city unimpressed by local muggings
Saying he doesn’t understand why people make such a big deal about the muggings that now seem to occur every week, a man who moved to Luxembourg from a big city says you should see how it is where he’s from. “Back home, we’ve got proper street crime,” he said with a look of pride […]
Alert after Luxembourger infiltrates expat group
A red alert was issued on Wednesday after it was revealed that a Luxembourger had infiltrated a popular expats Facebook group. The infiltration was discovered after one of the group’s 8000-plus members asked for a cheese suggestion, to which a member named Estephania Makris responded, “Kachkéis.” When another member wrote that he’d tried kachkéis and […]
‘When’s weed going to be legal?’ man demands, for a friend
A resident who finds it curious that the government promised years ago to legalize cannabis has demanded to know when they’re going to deliver. “Not for me, it’s for a friend who is eagerly waiting,” he said. “Not that I’m opposed to cannabis, of course, and people say it’s safer than alcohol, less detrimental to […]
Luxembourg City parking agents undergo commando training
In response to a growing number of drivers in Luxembourg City who illegally park their cars and say to themselves, “it’s only for a minute,” all municipal parking agents will now undergo special forces training. The intensive program lasts 42 weeks and consists mainly of evasion tactics, urban survival, and guerilla ticketing operations. The goal […]
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