A woman from Esch-sur-Alzette has found a cheap and energy-efficient alternative to her husband: a robot that looks out the window and makes obvious remarks about the weather. “That’s the only thing he was good for,” the 42-year-old woman said. “Which was handy when I didn’t feel like turning my head to see for myself.” […]
Scandalous lie: Luxembourger claims he speaks ‘a little’ English
A Luxembourger who was approached on the street by a tourist has lied about his language skills, it has been revealed. Nicolas Goergen, 44, was waiting for a bus after work on Thursday when an unidentified woman in her mid-20s asked if he spoke English. With a calm, frank look on his face, Goergen replied […]
Police to deploy Kachkéis cannons against protestors
Saying extreme circumstances call for extreme measures, Luxembourg police have announced they are going to set up a line of kachkéis cannons as a defensive measure in Friday’s announced protest by Polish miners. “Kachkéis is a known deterrent against foreign aggressors,” said police spokesperson Marco Trausch. “Which is why every Luxembourger has at least one […]
MyGuichet becomes self-aware
In what is being compared to the “Terminator” movie franchise in which an AI network takes over the world, at 01:38:38 on Thursday, the MyGuichet platform became self-aware. The incident was first noticed by on-call IT engineer Marietta Klonehopp, who was awoken by a notification that MyGuichet was down. When she attempted to access the […]
Kinky: Luxembourg couple experiment with monogamy
While from the outside they appear to be a normal Luxembourg couple devoted to regular acts of infidelity, privately Fritz Hershman and his partner Luisa Sandoval have developed an unusual kink: being faithful. They say that the idea came to them while they were planning their weekly Thursday-evening trysts with their respective lovers. “We were […]
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