A being from another galaxy that arrived in Luxembourg City last week has announced it expected a more enthusiastic reception. “Considering that my skin glows in the dark, I’m three meters tall, and I’ve travelled from a planet 240 million light years away, you think I’d raise an eyebrow or two,” said the being, who […]
May I suggest you start with a bizarre ritual in which I scan your phone to see what’s in your blood?
Moien, bonjour, and hello. Welcome to Chez Gaël. Is it your first time here? Oh, wonderful. Yes, we have been here for five years now. A long time. You live in the neighborhood, but you have not dined with us before? A pity! But at least you are here this evening. Could I start you […]
Country rebrands as ‘Luxembourg: satellites, sex, and drugs’
Saying they need a nation-branding slogan that speaks more to young people, Luxembourg has decided to rebrand itself with a new slogan: “Luxembourg: satellites, sex, and drugs.” “Technically, it’s not untrue,” said one source from deep within the secretive world of nation-branding. “We’ve got SES Astra, which operates God knows how many satellites. Satellites are […]
Man comes out as renter
After years of hiding the truth from his friends and coworkers, a man who by all outward appearances seemed financially comfortable has admitted he is a renter. Those who know Franklin Diambi say the 35-year-old lawyer always acted like he was just one of them and never mentioned a landlord or property management company. “He’s […]
Husband replaced with robot that comments on weather
A woman from Esch-sur-Alzette has found a cheap and energy-efficient alternative to her husband: a robot that looks out the window and makes obvious remarks about the weather. “That’s the only thing he was good for,” the 42-year-old woman said. “Which was handy when I didn’t feel like turning my head to see for myself.” […]
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