MONTE CARLO — Shocking residents, officials, and royal observers alike, Luxembourg’s reigning monarch briefly lost the Grand Duchy to Spain on Wednesday night in a game of high-stakes poker. The game, played between His Royal Highness Grand Duke Henri, Spain’s King Felipe, Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden, and several other monarchs, quickly went from being […]
Uh-oh: Luxlait cow almost out of milk
ROOST — In what’s being called “a reason to actually cry over spilt milk,” Luxembourg’s largest milk distributor has announced that its dairy cow is almost out of milk. Sandy, the company’s 29-story Norwegian Red that has been providing much of Luxembourg with milk since 2001, is nearly empty, according to Laurent Spautz, Sandy’s caretaker. […]
Horror as man forced to wear Speedos at Luxembourg pool
WALFERDANGE — A fun afternoon at the swimming pool quickly turned into a nightmare for a local man after he was forced by staff to wear grape-hugging lycra briefs — known as “budgie smugglers” or by the brand name Speedos. On Sunday, the victim tried to enter the pool with loose-fitting swimming trunks, which are […]
Cashier who commutes 4 hours each day ‘should be friendlier’ insists expat
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A customer of a Luxembourg petrol station has declared that he is fed up with getting frigid treatment from a cashier simply because her life is a drudgery of long commutes, dull work, and minimum salary. “Nearly every time I stop there to fill up my Range Rover or pick up a bottle of […]
Embarrassing: this Bierger-Center employee only speaks six languages
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A native and resident of Kehlen who works as a civil servant in the capital has admitted to suffering from “deep feelings of inadequacy” and worries that he is “linguistically challenged” when in the presence of colleagues who speak more languages than him. Marco Pohlen, who works in the Bierger-Center, says that recently […]
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