Admitting that this summer’s weather has been a major bummer and that mood levels are at an all-time low, Luxembourg officials have announced the construction of an artificial sun. The sun, measuring 17.4 meters in diameter and powered by energy sourced from the Cattenom nuclear power plant, will be suspended high above Mersch, the geographical […]
Grand Ducky of Luxembourg discovered
Calling it “a discovery that fundamentally transforms our understanding of how toy animals form adorable little monarchies,” biologists have uncovered the existence of a Grand Ducky. The bright yellow ducky was first spotted in the Alzette River in Luxembourg City by a group of teenagers who were out for a night in Clausen. Unwilling to […]
Babies conceived in Luxembourg may now get Made in Luxembourg tattoo
As part of the commitment to support local production and reproduction, the Chamber of Commerce has announced that any child made in Luxembourg will now be eligible for a Made in Luxembourg tattoo. The tattoo, made from non-toxic black ink, will only be given to babies whose parents can provide substantial evidence that the child […]
‘When’s weed going to be legal?’ man demands, for a friend
A resident who finds it curious that the government promised years ago to legalize cannabis has demanded to know when they’re going to deliver. “Not for me, it’s for a friend who is eagerly waiting,” he said. “Not that I’m opposed to cannabis, of course, and people say it’s safer than alcohol, less detrimental to […]
Luxembourg to create ‘own international celebrity’
Luxembourg officials have announced they’re ready to take the next step in becoming an important global actor: create the country’s first international celebrity. “Develop our commercial space industry, check,” said Carlos Hombart of the Initiative for International Recognition. “Become the first country in the world to offer nation-wide, free public transport, check.” “Create the first […]
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