Saying they need a nation-branding slogan that speaks more to young people, Luxembourg has decided to rebrand itself with a new slogan: “Luxembourg: satellites, sex, and drugs.” “Technically, it’s not untrue,” said one source from deep within the secretive world of nation-branding. “We’ve got SES Astra, which operates God knows how many satellites. Satellites are […]
‘Luxembourg, is that in Germany?’ asks hotel receptionist
Following a long but pleasant drive from Luxembourg to the Mediterranean coast, a friendly and totally unsarcastic hotel receptionist has asked you if Luxembourg is in Germany. “Welcome to the Med Sol Beach Hotel,” said the receptionist in an eager and professional tone. “From where are you joining us?” When you replied you were from […]
Artificial sun to be installed above Luxembourg
Admitting that this summer’s weather has been a major bummer and that mood levels are at an all-time low, Luxembourg officials have announced the construction of an artificial sun. The sun, measuring 17.4 meters in diameter and powered by energy sourced from the Cattenom nuclear power plant, will be suspended high above Mersch, the geographical […]
Grand Ducky of Luxembourg discovered
Calling it “a discovery that fundamentally transforms our understanding of how toy animals form adorable little monarchies,” biologists have uncovered the existence of a Grand Ducky. The bright yellow ducky was first spotted in the Alzette River in Luxembourg City by a group of teenagers who were out for a night in Clausen. Unwilling to […]
Babies conceived in Luxembourg may now get Made in Luxembourg tattoo
As part of the commitment to support local production and reproduction, the Chamber of Commerce has announced that any child made in Luxembourg will now be eligible for a Made in Luxembourg tattoo. The tattoo, made from non-toxic black ink, will only be given to babies whose parents can provide substantial evidence that the child […]
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