Members of Vladimir Putin’s increasingly small group of advisors are too afraid to tell the Russian president that he has got a fish stuck to his head, Western sources have revealed. The fish, believed to be a herring, has been stuck to Putin’s head since early Thursday morning, according to British intelligence. However, one unsubstantiated […]
The West won’t share the secret recipe for Big Mac sauce, and Putin is furious
After having vowed to create an imitation McDonalds, Russia has found itself in desperate need of the secret recipe for Big Mac sauce, but the West will not give it up, and now Vladimir Putin is furious. After the March announcement of the closure of some 850 McDonald’s locations in Russia, Minister of Foreign Affairs […]
Western porn star pulls out of Russian
Saying that he cannot wait any longer, European adult film star Rocco Wilder has announced that effective immediately, he is going to pull out of his Russian co-star. “Is that okay with you?” he said to director Frank D’Amore. “Me and Valeriya, we’ve been going at it for 22 minutes straight.” After getting approval, Wilder […]
Charity to send Vuitton bags to rich women trapped in Russia
The Luxembourg-based organization Wealthy Without Borders is collecting Louis Vuitton bags to be sent to rich women in Russia who are trapped without access to basic luxury goods, the group says. Association president Olesya Kuznetsova urges well-to-do people from all backgrounds to think about their peers in Russia who are now suffering. “Right now, there […]
Men head into parlor to smoke pipes like 19th century gentlemen and talk about war and such
Saying “these matters are of no interest to women, anyhow,” four Luxembourg City men have excused themselves to go into the parlor like 19th century gentlemen and “discuss war and politics and such.” The retreat into the parlor occurred on Saturday following dinner at a housewarming party that was also attended by five women. “Why, […]