Confirming suspicions that you are linguistically challenged, a team of researchers from the University of Wiltz have determined that a dog from the middle of the country has a much greater fluency in languages than you. “Despite her pea-sized brain, a memory reinforced only by dog biscuits, and a tendency to lose interest after 30 […]
How to not cringe when your partner tries to speak French
You’re having a nice lunch out with a romantic partner. The waitress approaches and suddenly your partner begins to choke, only he’s not choking. He’s trying to speak French, and even though no one understands him, he presses on. Your face breaks into an expression of equal parts sympathy and shame. Here are five tips […]
Help! Which local language should I learn?
French, German, Luxembourgish, Portuguese … I don’t know which one to choose! By Wise Expat Sage Dear Wise Expat Sage, I recently moved to Luxembourg when my partner got transferred here. Before I begin working, I’d like to take a language course to feel more comfortable in social situations. My question: which language should I […]
Man who claimed he mastered all local languages forced to admit he was lying
An anglophone who for years claimed he had mastered the local languages has been forced to admit that he can only really speak English after what one witness described as a “disastrous” telephone conversation with a hospital receptionist. On Tuesday, teacher Alan Rooney, 47, attempted to make a medical appointment over the phone while several […]
American defeats French resident in Luxembourg Monolingual Championships
An American has been named Luxembourg’s top monolingual after narrowly beating a French resident who had held the title for three years. Project engineer Robin Slater, from the U.S. state of Iowa, defeated Ludovic Binard, originally from Dijon, in a brutal final match during which they incomprehensibly spoke at each other for three hours. Although […]