A man who has refused to join the rest of the country in welcoming Ukrainian refugees has admitted that he is mainly worried they will learn the local languages before he does. David Last has lived in Luxembourg since 2012 but has yet to make any real effort to learn Luxembourgish, let alone French or […]
Scandalous lie: Luxembourger claims he speaks ‘a little’ English
A Luxembourger who was approached on the street by a tourist has lied about his language skills, it has been revealed. Nicolas Goergen, 44, was waiting for a bus after work on Thursday when an unidentified woman in her mid-20s asked if he spoke English. With a calm, frank look on his face, Goergen replied […]
Luxembourg agrees to make English official language ‘as long as we get to choose which English it is’
Facing yet more demands that English be adopted as the fourth official language of Luxembourg, the government has decided to agree on the condition that they choose which English it is. “To the Brits, don’t think we’re going to adopt the Queen’s English just because the UK is, or was, in Europe,” the government said […]
‘Yes, 4 languages, now let’s close this topic forever,’ plead all Luxembourgers
Following years of having the same conversation with outsiders and newcomers who are impressed by the ability to speak four or more languages, Luxembourgers have issued a heartfelt plea to close the topic forever. “We’re pleased that our linguistic range amazes you, and it’s nice of you to remark, rather unscientifically, that our brains must […]
Luxembourg to require muggers to speak all 3 languages
Saying that foreign thieves should give as much respect to Luxembourg as Luxembourg gives to them, anyone wishing to forcibly steal in public must now demonstrate proficiency in the three official languages. Before entering into the increasingly popular field of violent street theft, aspiring muggers will have to pass a language exam administered by the INL, […]
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