LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Following the failure of a petition to require the Chamber of Deputies to debate adding English as the country’s fourth official language, leaders have decided to scrap “Let’s make it happen,” admitting that Luxembourg’s brand tagline should, for obvious reasons, be in French, German, or Luxembourgish. “True, we promote ourselves as an international […]
6 Luxembourgish place names that sound like sex acts*
Péiteng If you and your partner engage in this, make sure to bring a raincoat and an umbrella. Dikrech While this might sound like kinky fun, it usually results in an emergency visit to the urologist. Suessem Usually requires at least one participant to make noises suggestive of a vacuum cleaner. Rëmeleng Highly inadvisable, especially […]
Moien, um, please restructure your administration to meet my linguistic needs
Moien, bonjour, and guten whatever. Do you speak English? Great, that’s a relief. Um, could you please restructure your administration to meet my linguistic needs? I know, I realize that would require tens of thousands of civil servants to sort of, um, yeah, take one or 10 English courses, a difficult proficiency exam, maybe spend […]
Confusion, anger as man tries to speak to Delhaize employee in German
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — At least one person was severely confused while a dozen people were left mildly irritated on Wednesday after a man at a Delhaize in the capital attempted to speak German to an employee stocking shelves. “Hallo,” said the man, who was later identified as a Koblenz construction worker named Manfred. “Wo ist der […]
Monolingual Luxembourger discovered
A woman believed to be the only Luxembourger who speaks just one language has been found in the north of the country where she claims to have spent the last 80 years living in a cave. The party of hikers who found the woman on Sunday say she didn’t understand when they addressed her in […]
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