Following years of having the same conversation with outsiders and newcomers who are impressed by the ability to speak four or more languages, Luxembourgers have issued a heartfelt plea to close the topic forever. “We’re pleased that our linguistic range amazes you, and it’s nice of you to remark, rather unscientifically, that our brains must […]
Luxembourg to require muggers to speak all 3 languages
Saying that foreign thieves should give as much respect to Luxembourg as Luxembourg gives to them, anyone wishing to forcibly steal in public must now demonstrate proficiency in the three official languages. Before entering into the increasingly popular field of violent street theft, aspiring muggers will have to pass a language exam administered by the INL, […]
New mask-reading courses for people confused by muffled mask speech
During the last 18 months or so, Luxembourg residents have been asking others to repeat themselves far more frequently than in pre-Covid times, and never before has there been so much confusion about what people are trying to say. Jenny Le Bloque, CEO and founder of Secrets of Masks and Language (SOMAL S.à r.l.) has […]
Child born to atone for linguistic sins of expat parents
An expat couple who have lived in Luxembourg for most of their adult lives yet never learned any of the three official languages have brought a child into the world to atone for their linguistic sins, it has been revealed. The girl, named Agnes, was born at the CHL maternity clinic last Friday. She was […]
Asian kid not impressed by Luxembourg journalist
A 10-year-old from Singapore has announced she’s not impressed by a Luxembourg-born journalist who recently became a sensation by reporting the news in six languages. “He’s an adult, and he only speaks six languages?” said 10-year-old Grace Chau. “I was conversant in Mandarin, Malay, Tamil, Singlish, Tagalog, and Cantonese by the time I stopped wearing […]
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