Following the departure of the United Kingdom from the European Union, the EU has announced that Irish English will replace British English as the union’s primary working language. The change, effective immediately, was announced on Monday by European Commission president Ursula Gertrud von der Leyen, who says the unity of the 27 remaining countries is […]
‘Let’s make it happen’ must be changed into an official language
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Following the failure of a petition to require the Chamber of Deputies to debate adding English as the country’s fourth official language, leaders have decided to scrap “Let’s make it happen,” admitting that Luxembourg’s brand tagline should, for obvious reasons, be in French, German, or Luxembourgish. “True, we promote ourselves as an international […]
6 Luxembourgish place names that sound like sex acts*
Péiteng If you and your partner engage in this, make sure to bring a raincoat and an umbrella. Dikrech While this might sound like kinky fun, it usually results in an emergency visit to the urologist. Suessem Usually requires at least one participant to make noises suggestive of a vacuum cleaner. Rëmeleng Highly inadvisable, especially […]
Moien, um, please restructure your administration to meet my linguistic needs
Moien, bonjour, and guten whatever. Do you speak English? Great, that’s a relief. Um, could you please restructure your administration to meet my linguistic needs? I know, I realize that would require tens of thousands of civil servants to sort of, um, yeah, take one or 10 English courses, a difficult proficiency exam, maybe spend […]
Confusion, anger as man tries to speak to Delhaize employee in German
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — At least one person was severely confused while a dozen people were left mildly irritated on Wednesday after a man at a Delhaize in the capital attempted to speak German to an employee stocking shelves. “Hallo,” said the man, who was later identified as a Koblenz construction worker named Manfred. “Wo ist der […]
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