WASHINGTON — Calling the damage to the social hierarchy caused the the coronavirus lockdown a “crisis we can no longer ignore,” the U.S. agency in charge of disaster relief has announced it will be allocating 26 billion hours of emergency attention to starving American celebrities. “These people, members of our most fragile and neediest population, […]
Toilet paper roll sells for €577,000
A roll of toilet paper, which is being called “the last of its kind,” has been sold in London for more than half of a million euros. The sale was made at Christie’s auction house on Wednesday, where the bidding started at fifty cents and quickly shot up. It’s not clear if the anonymous buyer […]
Luxembourg man finishes the internet
BISSEN — A man who has self-quarantined since the middle of the month has finished the internet, according to multiple sources. “Every article, blog post, video, social media update, and meme,” said Nicolas Quinn, 29, after switching off his tablet after a marathon 22-hour session. “I’m done. I’ve consumed them all.” “There’s nothing you can […]
Our partners’ 6 most annoying habits (coronavirus edition)
When we agree to move in with a romantic partner, we’re often unaware of their annoying habits, habits that are now painfully obvious – like a stick stuck in our eyes and ears. Here are the six most common. Cleaning but not the way we like it Now that they’re at home 24 hours a […]
5 movies to help parents cope during coronavirus
If you’re a parent and you feel like this whole pandemic lockdown situation is more than you can handle, check out these five movies to give yourself a well-deserved boost. Alive This 1993 movie depicts a rugby team’s struggle to survive after their plane crashes in the snowy Andes, forcing them to resort to cannibalism. […]
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