Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Luxembourg described as ‘fun’ for first time

Surprising even its staunchest defenders, for the first time Luxembourg is being described as the most exciting travel destination in Europe. “People keep asking about this Luxembourg place they’re hearing about,” said London-based tour guide Polly Letusin. “Overnight, the country has turned fun.” Among the Grand Duchy’s offerings, says Letusin, are activities you can’t do […]

Luxembourg man lifts weights non-stop for 48 hours to stock up on muscles before gyms close

GASPERICH — An avid bodybuilder from Luxembourg City has announced that he’s begun two full days of continuous weightlifting to stock up on muscles before the closure of gyms and fitness centers.  “I predict gyms will be closed for eight weeks maximum,” said Dragomir Petrović, 34, his back muscles bulging after a 52nd set of […]

How to give your woman an orgasm by telling her Auchan still has green tea hand sanitizer in stock

Does your woman love green tea hand sanitizer but fears she won’t be able to get any now that shoppers have begun hoarding again? Give her an amazing orgasm by telling her that Auchan still has some in stock. Don’t rush When it comes to getting her aroused about her favorite antibacterial goo that kills […]

Luxembourg’s douchiest car owners to get special plates with only 3 digits

In a move that will delight Luxembourg’s most obnoxious car owners, the SNCA has announced it will begin offering license plates with only three digits. “We already have number plates with just four digits, and these are highly prized by those men who wash their cars every Sunday and get offended when someone doesn’t compliment […]

A Faustian nightmare: he got to travel back in time to buy a house when the market was better, but now he’s condemned to hang out at City Concorde every afternoon for the rest of eternity

What sounded like the deal of a lifetime has turned into a Faustian nightmare for one Luxembourg man after he made a deal with the Devil to be able to buy a house at the market price of several decades ago. “I was browsing atHome, and I realized I would never be able to afford […]