Unable to work out since their gym was ordered to close last week, a fitness-loving couple from Capellen have turned into blobs of untoned flesh. The two were discovered by their cleaning lady on Wednesday afternoon. At first, the woman mistook them for melted ice cream, but when she attempted to clean up the mess, […]
Is your friend inviting you over for dinner or is this a police operation?
OETRANGE — A woman who received a dinner invitation for her whole family doesn’t know if the invitation is genuine or if the message is a part of a police operation to catch would-be offenders, she has confirmed. “That seems kind of weird that Alex is inviting us over, considering how freaked out about the […]
Scarf bros announce takeover of all offices in Luxembourg
A gang of nearly 120,000 fashion-conscious male office workers have announced they are going to continuously wear scarves indoors until April – and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. “We’re here, we’re many, and although it’s not actually cold where we work, we’re going to wear these woven neck wraps all the time,” said […]
Luxembourg described as ‘fun’ for first time
Surprising even its staunchest defenders, for the first time Luxembourg is being described as the most exciting travel destination in Europe. “People keep asking about this Luxembourg place they’re hearing about,” said London-based tour guide Polly Letusin. “Overnight, the country has turned fun.” Among the Grand Duchy’s offerings, says Letusin, are activities you can’t do […]
Luxembourg man lifts weights non-stop for 48 hours to stock up on muscles before gyms close
GASPERICH — An avid bodybuilder from Luxembourg City has announced that he’s begun two full days of continuous weightlifting to stock up on muscles before the closure of gyms and fitness centers. “I predict gyms will be closed for eight weeks maximum,” said Dragomir Petrović, 34, his back muscles bulging after a 52nd set of […]
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