As deconfinement in Luxembourg slowly ends and hair salons once again open their doors, thousands of women and a few men with freshly cut, dyed, and styled hair have started clapping every evening for the country’s hairdressers. “Bravo,” said Sabine, 32, a resident of Differdange who was among the first to get her hair done […]
‘Pandemic over,’ declare Luxembourg teens
Teenagers in the Grand Duchy have announced that the COVID-19 pandemic is over, that social distancing is no longer needed, and that they may go back to enthusiastically sharing saliva with each other. “We won,” said a 14-year-old lycée student named Tim. “Finally, I can go back to play-fighting my friends to impress girls and […]
Grandma spends entire Zoom meeting on mute again
For the fifth time in a row, a grandmother from Contern has spent the entirety of a weekly family Zoom meeting on mute. On Wednesday evening, Marianne Dolper, 80, joined the 93-minute session and listened while her two children and four grandchildren shared news, joked, and briefly argued about vaccinations. It was only halfway through […]
Pathetic: man still making jokes about Corona beer, toilet paper, hand sanitizer
BELVAL — A man whose humor is gravely out of sync with the world is still making jokes about Corona beer, toilet paper, and hand sanitizer, it has been revealed. The 27-year-old man’s girlfriend says she is victimized by his obsolete jokes at least once a day. On Sunday, she hurried to their bedroom after […]
Top 10 ways Luxembourg residents are preparing for deconfinement
The Luxembourg government has announced that steps towards deconfinement could begin within a couple of weeks. What are the top 10 ways residents are preparing to re-enter society? 1. Cleaning off dried soup that’s been stuck to chin for last six weeks 2. Posting sticky notes around home to remind self to cover bottom half […]
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