Parents in Luxembourg who complain-brag about having to become full-time teachers are being reminded that putting your child in front of a tablet for three hours every morning doesn’t count as teaching, nor does it count as doing something full-time. “Having your kid binge-watch educational videos doesn’t mean you’re a teacher now,” say teachers. “It […]
‘One month equals 46,080 minutes,’ demonic child informs mother
A child from Beggen who is clearly driven by evil and a desire to inflict pain on innocent people casually informed his mother on Wednesday evening that one month equals 46,080 minutes. The vile calculation came just moments after Betina Moltze, 36, told her son Viktor that the Ministry of Education had announced that schools […]
5 movies to help parents cope during coronavirus
If you’re a parent and you feel like this whole pandemic lockdown situation is more than you can handle, check out these five movies to give yourself a well-deserved boost. Alive This 1993 movie depicts a rugby team’s struggle to survive after their plane crashes in the snowy Andes, forcing them to resort to cannibalism. […]
Don’t be afraid of the virus. Mommy has built us a fortress of toilet paper.
Kids, I want to talk to you about the virus that’s going around. I know you’ve learned about it in school, and you’ve probably heard things from other children. It’s true that we can’t protect ourselves from everything, but we can prepare ourselves for the worst. The moment I learned that the coronavirus was headed […]
Mother hits up drug dealers in search for hand sanitizer
A very flustered Luxembourg mother who visited 23 pharmacies and supermarkets in search of hand sanitizer made a last-ditch effort in the capital on Wednesday night, asking a group of drug dealers if they could hook her up. The mother, 39, cruised around the Gare’s side streets for more than an hour before she happened […]
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