LORENTZWEILER — A hand spinner that in the summer of 2017 was celebrated by an entire Luxembourg primary school has now ended up in a heap of rubbish, unrecognized and uncherished. The metallic item, which measures 7.5 centimeters in diameter, won every contest it was entered into, earning it the title of “the best in […]
Luxembourg mothers arrange playdate, drinking session
Saying it would be fun to have a little weekday get-together with the children, catch up, and drink copious amounts of booze, on Wednesday a group of Luxembourg mothers organized a playdate for their kids. “Come around four so the little ones can play outside while it’s still light out, and I can show you […]
Local pussy afraid to take parental leave
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A veritable walking bouquet of delicate flowers has confirmed his status as a pussy by backing down after being challenged to take six months of parental leave. A visibly anxious Theobald Hausmann, 33, made the announcement to his wife Christina last week after she repeatedly encouraged him to take time off to bond […]
Child returns from school with nasty caterpillar stuck to hand
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A six-year-old from the capital returned home from school on Friday with a germ-infested caterpillar named Mila stuck to his hand. The plush, multicolored creature — which plays a prominent role in primary school textbooks — was described by the boy’s parents as stinking of “slime, kid sweat, and the icky contents of […]
Luxembourg teen’s smartphone fuses into hand
GASPERICH — A teenager described by his parents as “always on his phone” will now be stuck to it for the rest of his life. Lycée student Geoffrey de Kelpt, 17, says that he woke up one morning last week and realized that his phone had melded with his left hand. He is unable to […]