For years, conspiracy theorists have claimed that our planet’s rotational speed has been rapidly increasing, and yet while most people scoffed at the idea, new evidence suggests the conspiracy theorists might be right. On Wednesday, video footage was released of former Luxembourgish politician and current European Commission president Jean-Claude Juncker at a meeting with world […]
Luxembourg Wurst Magazine, Summer 2018
Luxembourg finally agrees to just pay expats to learn Luxembourgish
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — In response to a recent petition asking the state to provide free Luxembourgish lessons to anyone who wants them, expats all around the country are saying that such a plan doesn’t go far enough. “Cute idea, but here in the real world, our time is precious,” said one expat. “Between work, hot yoga, […]
Luxembourg to build enclosed village for English speakers
English speakers in Luxembourg will soon be able to live in total linguistic comfort, thanks to a government plan to construct a giant domed village for anglophones. Scheduled to be built next year on 55 acres of land near the capital, the dome will contain up to 150 housing units as well as English-speaking shops, […]
Luxembourg kissophobes allowed to give three handshakes instead
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — An expat who has rejected the Luxembourgish custom of giving three kisses to female acquaintances will be allowed to give three alternating handshakes instead, a court has ruled. The decision was handed down on Tuesday by a three-judge panel from the Court of Etiquette. The court was obliged to rule on the matter […]