Luxembourg has announced it will change its national flag as it seeks to boost international recognition and more accurately reflect the country in the 21st century. “This new design leaves no doubt that you are in Luxembourg,” Vexillology Minister Egon Krentz said on Monday during the official unveiling. “The current flag is good, but it […]
Embarrassing: this Bierger-Center employee only speaks six languages
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A native and resident of Kehlen who works as a civil servant in the capital has admitted to suffering from “deep feelings of inadequacy” and worries that he is “linguistically challenged” when in the presence of colleagues who speak more languages than him. Marco Pohlen, who works in the Bierger-Center, says that recently […]
Confirmed: Luxembourg actually in Germany
Prompting a series of rather clumsy admissions from politicians, diplomats, and historians alike, an old friend from home has asserted that Luxembourg is actually in Germany. “Hey, long time no see, where are you living now?” the friend, whom you hadn’t seen in nearly 10 years, said when you saw him at a bar during […]
Everyone getting Luxembourgish nationality except you
A new report from the Ministry of Expat Affairs has confirmed that everyone in Luxembourg who is not already Luxembourgish will be by the middle of next year — with the notable exception of you. “Becoming Luxembourgish is, like, super quick and fun, and seriously man, everyone is doing it,” said Minister Paul Baresi. “Honestly, […]
Spike in number of young back-pain sufferers as Luxembourg okays medical cannabis
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Within minutes of Tuesday’s announcement that medical marijuana will soon be legal in the Grand Duchy, tens of thousands of young men and women were suddenly afflicted with terrible back pain. Graphic design intern Christophe Lambert, 21, who last weekend took ninth place in an Ironman competition in France, says that he is […]